My Blog, my journey… or something like that :o)

God has been serenading me with the song No Walls, No Ceiling, No Floors The song communicates a feeling of security, comfort and love — unconditional love, that is. Only God can give that kind of love and only in God can we find it…

Let me love you, come close to me
Locked in my arms, you’ll still be free

[Refrain]
Don’t be frightened
My half flyin’ blue bird
‘Coz my love has no walls
No walls, no ceilings
No walls, no ceilings, no floors
Go on and fly high in the sky
I’ll never try to burn your wings

All my love songs are just for you
Sing them with me and when you do

[Refrain]
Don’t be frightened
My half flyin’ blue bird
‘Coz my love has no walls
No walls, no ceilings
No walls, no ceilings, no floors
Go on and fly high in the sky
I’ll never try to burn your wings
… fly high in the sky

All my love songs are just for you
Sing them with me and when you do

[Refrain]
Don’t be frightened
My half flyin’ blue bird
‘Coz my love has no walls
No walls, no ceilings
No walls, no ceilings, no floors…

I’m listening to the song now… and singing it, deep in my heart.. Hahaha! Thank you , Lord, for your love that has no walls, no ceilings, no floor… thank you for serenading me

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arrrrrrrrghh! san san-o pa ko gusto magsulat pero indi ko ya ka start! whaaaaaaa! dugay2x na ko wala k abutang entry diri sa blog ko.. damo na ko tani topics pero ambot gani ah. daw di man ko kasugod sulat… inarts mo! whaaaaaaaaa!

te, anuhon ta ni??? asta na  lng ko ya sa intention??? hahaha! hmmm… as i’m writing this, i’m chatting with my bestfriend Lorenz discussing about his Compre Exam… te, goo dluck lng sa iya eh. i’ve been through the process and it brought a lot of realizations about my self — on how i handle pressure and more pressures :))  .. unfinished discussion naman ni. hahaha!

as i was reading through what i’ve written here, i realized that one thing that kept me from continuously writing my blog is the fear of sounding senseless… hahaha! i think i’ve been putting more pressure to myself by doing (or thinking!!!) that way.

having said (written! whaaaaaaaa!) that, i now FREE myself from pressure of trying to impress my readers… WHAAAAA! is if may ara! dream on! cge, let’s pretend nga may ara.. hahaha! :D

sadyahon ta ni!!!

Time really flies so fast. My last posting here was about the message I delivered during the Graduate Orientation Program, which was July last year (2007). Today, I’m sharing the Prayer for the Graduate which was delivered during our Baccalaureate Exercise. I’m very thankful for the opportunity to be able to serve through this Prayer which actually came as a surprise. It was Prof. Mariel Elizaga who called me up and asked if I take the part… and who am I to say no?

One morning I started thinking and scribbling words for the prayers… and liquid (ehem!) started to fall from my eyes… whaaaaaaaaaaa! it was more on the thought of looking back, seeing and acknowledging God’s hands during my LONG grad school journey… and what else is more fitting than delievring this prayer in behalf of the UPV Centennial Graduates?

Lord God, we come before You today to acknowledge Your kindness and faithfulness that guided us to victoriously complete another milestone in our lives.

We give You praise, glory and honor for Your granting us the grace to graduate this year; for showing us hope in times of trials and discouragements; and for rewarding our toils and efforts in finishing our studies.

Lord, please forgive us our sins; for the times that we failed to acknowledge Your goodness; for forgetting the needs of others; for relying on our personal capacities; and for taking for granted the opportunities to make a difference in our country and the lives of our fellow Filipinos.

We thank You for the gift of education and the privilege to be educated at the University of the Philippines, this country’s premier university; thank you for our love ones, family, friends and the UP community who have been our support and have given us inspiration.

Father, we ask You to continuously shower us with Your grace, guide us in our plans and decisions, provide for our needs, protect us and our loved ones, and bless our endeavors and journey towards a life of prosperity where we may be of service to You, our God, to our family and to our country..

All these we ask through Jesus Christ, our Savior. Amen

Last Saturday, I was given the opportunity to share my thoughts about Grad School during the Graduate Orientation Program…. in behalf of the continuing (in my case "continuous", according to Jun and Kahlil) graduate students. I’m posting this for documentation purposes, and whatever purpose it will best serve me…. hahaha! =D

To our University Officials, members of the Faculty and Staff, my professors, classmates and fellow graduate students: Good Morning.

Let me start my sharing by relating my “UP Smile” story. This happened two weeks ago while I was riding in a jeepney going here. A high school classmate asked me where I’m headed to on a Saturday morning, I answered “School, I’m taking up my Masters”. He then asked me “Where, UP?”, and I smiled and nodded.

This might NOT be an extraordinary experience for all us but I just want to share my realizations that resulted to what I now call my “UP smile”.

….it was a smile with a sense of pride, knowing that I’m enrolled in the best Graduate school in the region…

… it was a smile that means I’m enrolled in the University that embodies academic excellence and nurtures academic freedom.

… it was smile with a sense of achievement when I realized that somehow I’m surviving UP Grad School challenges and that I’m in my last few months of my journey as UP Grad student.

During my undergrad days here, I would see people attending classes during the weekend. I would look at them and naughtily smile with thoughts of them being “old” BUT with such admiration and respect that despite their “oldness”, they were still willing and very capable to learn. Today, I would find myself receiving the same “look” from the undergrads. This time, it’s my wishful thinking that those “looks” are also coupled with admiration and respect. J 

That is just one of my Grad School stories that keep this learning experience more than just academic exercise but also an integrated human development process. Allow me share with you a few more realizations and realities:

o       Grad school will bring down your defenses but will make way to build new alliances. After years of proving that you’re an independent person, you will eventually see yourself reaching out and seeking a classmate or friend’s help over an assignment, presentation, paper and eventually The Comprehensive exams.

o       Grad school will expand your network, of business/ project partners and new-found friends that would make your life a bit easier.  This might be Louge requesting her MIWD officemates to fix our damaged pipeline; entrusting to Jun and Sophie our clearances; Ronnie accommodating us in West Bridge for group study. The list would still go from being invited to Kahlil’s fiesta in Villa to giving a lecture in another classmate’s school. … (inserted, for the benefit of my Idol Giselle and Mae) and be around the company of the reincarnation of The Star of the New Decade or a Telecom Magnate J 

o       In Grad school you will unleash your inner strength and potentials. You would realize this when you have to juggle your time meeting work targets and finishing presentations, balancing personal budget and your financial management assignments, understanding (or rationalizing) the behavior of your boss and that of Boss X in your HBO case study… or say preparing for a class presentation while making a message for an orientation J Probably we were prepared for these when you decided to enroll wherein we opened ourselves to a new dimension in of life… a new challenge.

o       Grad school will be your time to loosen up.  After days of wearing your business attire, you can get into your rubber shoes or tsinelas, jeans and t-shirt and just be another UP student.

o       Since I have an 8:00am Saturday class, I first thought Grad school would take away my Friday evening socialization. Experience proved me wrong; I still have my Friday night outs; this time for group studies and “discussions” of assignments, finishing up last minute changes for the next day’s presentation, editing and finishing term paper or completing a take home exam. J

o       I may have missed Saturday outings and travels because of Grad school but I look forward to our end-of-trim outing; this maybe in Andy’s ancestral house in Miag-ao or simply an evening chilling out in a nearby restaurant recalling stories of the finished trim.

For me, Grad school is another chance to go back to the good old undergrad days when I tried to convince myself that being educated is fun and exciting experience. But the difference this time is that, I’m have now personal and professional experiences that can be shared with my professors and classmates with the hope that it can contribute in a more realistic learning process.

Definitely there were sacrifices and trade offs. These, we are all aware even before Ma’am Jo or Ma’am Nitz stamped our registration forms as OFFICIALLY ENROLLED. Vicon, one of my classmates, mentioned that after many years she’s back in UP, this time with her daughter in the undergrad. She then may now have to “compete” for a quite corner of their house, for her study time.

Economics would re-affirm the reality of life as full of choices, and that in order to be considered a rational being; we have to be conscious about analyzing the costs and benefits of being here in UP. While some of our friends decided to take up nursing to go abroad, we decided to pursue our master’s probably with a certain hope that the knowledge and skills we will gained will translate to more opportunities and eventually make life better.

It’s still a reality that with a UP Graduate School diploma, we can increase our market value as a professional and get that long-over due raise or promotion. But before that we still have to face the NOW, the challenges of being in UP Grad School.   

As part of the UP community, we must remember that UP’s celebrated academic freedom and academic excellence is not solely a product  the University’s system or it’s pool of qualified teaching force; it’s also a result of students’ social consciousness and academic achievements – two things that we also have to embrace. 

While we are encouraged to think critically, we are also indirectly encouraged to examine the society wherein we are an integral part. For us not only focus our efforts in criticizing the “what’s not”s and “supposedly”, but in our own capacity be a contributor of the “what is” and “should be”s. This is a mark of a true UP student.

Let me share with you a text message from a classmate, in celebration of UP’s Centennial Foundation:

U.P. made you in such a way that:

when the world is sitting, you would be standing…

when the world is standing, you would standout…

when the world stands out, you would be outstanding…

and when the world tries to be outstanding…

YOU would be the standard.

Guided by God’s “Invisible Hands”, you will write your Grad School story. If you want to get the most out of this “investment”, then let’s consider the next days ahead to be HERE. The here I’m referring to it’s more than just physically being here, of just being one of the those who wants to write UP Grad in their resumes or friendster profile; it’s totally being HERE … of connecting, of interacting, of sharing, of reaching out, of smelling, of smiling, of laughing, of burning midnight lamps, of making your own mark… of being an ACTIVE participant and not merely being considered as a PASSER BY. This is the reason why we have started to talk about organizing us and start putting names to faces that we bump into every Saturday and all start wearing our UP smile.

With hard work and the grace of God, it is my fervent prayer that we will wear our “UP smile” while receiving our Masters Diplomas. And anytime when somebody would ask where I got my Masters degree, I would definitely give that person my usual UP smile and proudly answer “UP Grad School”… knowing that behind those three words were treasured personal experiences and memories that made me an equipped professional, a developed individual and overall, a better person.

May we all have a fruitful journey here in UP Grad School, good morning and God bless us all! J

this is another The Daily Encounter article…

Letting Go to Gain

i remember Timay forwarding this in my email… interesting, funny, entertaining, definitely points to ponder… enjoy reading and reflecting! and yes, you can let go of that smile… 

• You know you’re a true blue Ilonggo if ..
• Your one peso is pisos. 
• You take a bath using a tabo (or cabo) which is a used 1 quart Caltex oil container.
• Your bathroom has at least one lugod (some has one for every family member)
• Your Nanay used to make you drink Mirinda or Royal Tru Orange when you have a fever, which is supposed to make you feel better … and 7-up if you have a stomach upset.  And it seemed to worked!

• Sinamak is a staple in your dining table — the best Ilonggo invention
• if you ask me;  the acidity of this stuff is so potent that it was even banned on airplanes long before 9/11.
• Your toyo is patis and your patis is toyo
• You use atsuete for your adobo and pinamalhan (pinaksiw)
• Your daily meal will likely include laswa, kbl (kadyos, baboy,langka), ginat-an nga tambo with tugabang and okra, ginat-an nga munggo, linutik, apan-apan, etc.
• November 1 means eating ibus, suman, suman latik, kalamay-hati, bayi-bayi, valenciana or other native delicacies with glutinous rice and coconut milk
• You call those you love palangga, pangga, or ga
• You call your siblings or cousins inday, nonoy or toto…the househelp may call you the same
• You call those who are older than you manang or manong
• You catch the attention of sales attendants by calling them "day" or "to"
• Your childhood games include tumba patis, taksi, panagu-ay, balay-balay, ins, tin-tin baka/bika, etc.
• You used to be scared to go out at night lest you meet the aswang, tik-tik, tayhu, kapre, kama-kama, morto, etc.
• You call a person, thing, place and event kwan when you forget it (si kwan, ang kwan, sa kwan, nag kwan)
• You understand that "Particulars Keep Out" sign means Outsiders Keep Out.  (believe me, this sign may look and sound English but it’s only us Ilonggos who use it)
• You use words such as "ahay" (expression of pity, grief, empathy)
• "Yuga" (expression of disbelief, surprise),
• "Ambot ah" (to say you don’t know, or an expression of impatience)
• You often start your sentence with ti/te/teh,
• You say goodbye by saying "Halong" (or take care)
• Your favorite cusswords are linte (if you’re slightly pissed off)and hijo de #%*a (if you’re pissed off big time)…

Ti, sigue halong lang kamo ha!  ;-) … wala panama ang "Ingats"  ni John Lloyd … whaaaaaaaaa!

i would usually find some significant lines from a song to describe the "emote" moments of my life… though entire lyrics of this song doesn’t necessarily speak about a recent "emote" moment, i’d still like it… and thanks to Arlene for singing with me… hahahaha!

I’d Rather Leave While I’m in Love

I'd rather leave while I'm in love

While I still believe the meaning of the word

I'll keep my dreams and just pretend

That you and I were never meant to end

Too many times I've seen the rose die on the vine

And somebody's heart gets broken, usually it's mine

I don't want to take the chance of being hurt again

And you and I can't say goodbye

So if you wake and find me gone

Hey, babe, just carry on

You see, I need my fantasy

I still believe it's best to leave while I'm in love...

Too many times I've seen the rose die on the vine

And somebody's heart gets broken, usually it's mine

Oh, I don't want to take the chance of being hurt again

And you and I won't say goodbye

So if you wake and find me gone

Hey, babe, just carry on

You see, I need my fantasy

I still believe... it's best to leave while I'm in love...

few days ago I was in a workshop and got to sing the Phipippine National Anthem as part of the Opening Ceremony. it seemed like it was one of those moments when I just have to sing the song with much gusto and meaning… savoring every word it says and feeling the emotions it brings… in commemoration of OUR country’s Independence Day, I’m posting this… with the hope that everytime I’ve got to sing it again, it is with the such intensity that it so deserves…

Lupang Hinirang
Official version used since 1956

Sa dagat at bundok,
Sa simoy at sa langit mong bughaw,
May dilag ang tula
At awit sa paglayang minamahal.
Ang kislap ng watawat mo’y
Tagumpay na nagniningning,
Ang bituin at araw niya
Kailan pa ma’y di magdidilim.
Lupa ng araw, ng luwalhati’t pagsinta,
Buhay ay langit sa piling mo;
Aming ligaya, na pag may mang-aapi
Ang mamatay nang dahil sa iyo

Happy Independence Day, Philippines!!!!

Sometimes we close our eyes and just listen to the echoes of our hearts. We all fall inlove and there are times when we love so much that we lose ourselves in our emotions. More often than not we wonder why there are love that grows and love that grows cold. We would start to search for answers and try to find where we have gone wrong. But in the end we find ourselves where we started for we cannot question LOVE when it has its own reasons. Many of us believe that love is forever, that love never dies… Only to be disillusioned in the end when we find our hearts empty and our hearts longing.

We mistakenly looked at love as a need to be fulfilled. But Love is only a gist to us; we should not hold it in our hands. For we may never find the strength to let go when it decides to leave. We should only embrace its warmth and glow while its lasts and then freely open our arms when its time to say GOODBYE.

When we fall inlove with someone, we don’t want that feeling to end. For it’s everything that we wanted to be. We pray that LOVE will stay and grow in our hearts. But if it doesn’t then we should never let our lives be taken by it. For it should not end where our heartaches begin. There is always a reason why we have to move on when we have to say goodbye to the feelings that we wanted to stay forever. Let us not wave our hands with a heavy heart that we will have to set its wings free and find the place where it belongs. We may have lost it but then again when we close our eyes and listen to the echoes of our HEARTS, we will hear that feeling resounding silently forever.

Then well know that it has never left us, for the good that we have become because of LOVE will always stay.

It will always be there reminding us that we should be thankful and happy because we have lost LOVE, but because for once in our lives that feelings in our hearts and made us happy.

unknown author—-

the first time i got this material from the backcover of the Graduation Issue of our High School Paper… way back in 1991. And 16 years later, i’m enchanted )(mystified? hehehe) of the poem’s (???) message… it has its own magic that whenever i read it, it brings out a variety of emotions and reflections.

LETTING GO TAKES LOVE

To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization I can’t control another.
To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more